A few days ago, Chad and I were talking about songs about the best times of our lives. I said that this is the best time of my life. This is the happiest I have ever been. Sure, I have a lot stacked against me right now. The person who told me she was my best friend dumped me 3 months ago. It has been hard coming back from that, I'm not going to lie. I really cared about this person, and was really invested in our friendship. It was a very hard lesson that she did not feel the same about me. I confess it still hurts, and some days are harder than others. I also was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in the past few months. Learning you have a chronic disease can be life changing, for sure. On the other hand, living with with it undiagnosed for years already changed my life. Now at least I know what I am up against, and I am being treated for it. I have a goal to work towards, more than just getting through the day. For so long I have felt down and out, and had no way to explain it to those around me. Now my illness has a name and I have an arsenal of medicines to help me fight it. I am finding it hard to get out of the habit of despair. I still feel tired and a bit lost. I try to focus on gratitude. On the worst days, I grimly count my blessings and try to quell the voice that whispers negative things. I have a wonderful husband who is always there for me, and he really is my best friend. We can talk about anything, or just sit in silence, enjoying each others company. My children are happy and healthy and swiftly becoming independent, which is a bittersweet joy. I have wonderful parents and a very close relationship with them. My husbands family are wonderful and dependable as well. This year, we have had the opportunity to do some traveling, which I have always wanted to do but we were never able to before. And my health. I don't have it yet, but I have goal to work towards. Now to start moving forward.
